Post-Divorce Life: A Guide to Co-Parenting


When two people who used to love each other decide it is time to terminate the marriage, many things can happen. Primarily, the properties will be divided. Some couples may elect who will take what. The whole process can be stressful.

And more often than not, the children will take the hardest hit. Younger kids, in particular, may be confused about what is happening. They may battle with denial and a range of emotions, as they love both of their parents. Depending on the fate of the custody case, there is a great chance that both of you are needed by the kids. This is where co-parenting makes sense.

Co-parenting is an entirely new territory for you. How will you even parent your kids with your ex? This is a question that may make you feel stressed and anxious. However, you can always make it work. Here are some pointers to help you, as recommended by divorce attorneys in Utah.

Stay amicable or civil

You have ended your marriage with the person you used to love. From there, everything should be civil. At first, you may feel bitter, and that is okay. Do not deprive yourself of the freedom to feel things. However, make sure that you know how to control your emotions. Never be rude. At this point, you and your former spouse are equal, so you should not exert influence on each other.

Talk about plans

Think of your new relationship as a partnership, albeit a non-romantic one. If you want to make co-parenting work, the two of you will need to sit down and talk about the plans you have for the children. Come up with schedules regarding visitation, holidays, and the important events in your kids’ lives. While you are at it, you might also want to open the possible roles of the immediate extended families. Do not get too personal when planning the schedules with your children. Set aside some agenda and personal plans. The focus of such conversations is their well-being.

Be neutral around the kids

playing with child

Have a straightforward sense of integrity and stay neutral around your children. You should never sabotage your kids’ relationship with your ex. Likewise, you should not use them to get back on your former spouse. If your kids say something bad about the other parent, do not tolerate it. You should also not pressure them to pick between the two of you.

Seek help

At the end of the day, co-parenting will still be a challenge. It can be stressful and overwhelming. And when you feel that you cannot handle it on your own, it pays that you seek the help and services of a reliable family counselor, who can guide you as you go through this stage of your lives.

Everything after the divorce may make you and your former spouse awkward with each other. At first, co-parenting is a difficult territory to navigate. You may feel like you are learning a new skill. But just like any other skill, you can always get better at it as time passes.

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